The Daily Question From A Blogfriend

This question was e-mailed  to me, but has, with permission, been edited for length.

Helena wants to know...

A couple  of nights ago I watched a television show that had a storyline about two young brothers who intentionally set fire to a neighbourhood restaurant.  The fictional parents decided to  discipline these boys by giving extra chores.  This  reminded  me of someone I know who lied to the police to gave her son an alibi for the time period that a neighbours house was broken into.

If  your minor child committed a crime would you discipline them yourself or them into the police?

Comments

[Charmarie]

To be honest I'm not sure what I would do if confronted with the situation. I'd say if they never did anything before I may discipline them myself, if they had already been in trouble it may be time for police intervention. Still I couldn't say unless I was actually in the situation.

[Marisa]

If it were my child I would let the police deal with it, setting fire to someones place or stealing is wrong. Giving them extra chores is just a joke, they should be made to confront the owners and explain their actions and to hear what harm/damage/distress they have caused the people.

[Thumper]

First strike? I admit, I'd torture the Boy myself. The days when we could count on the legal punishment fitting the crime are long gone, and I don't trust the system to do what's right. OTOH, I'm pretty sure I can nip a fledging thug in the bid.

Repeat offender is another matter.

[Shephard]

Depends on what they did.
If they TP'd The White House, I might look the other way.

~S

[kenju]

It depends on the crime, but they would be dealt with in a different manner than on the TV show. I saw that show too, and it that case, the boys were given the suggestion to do it by an older step-sibling. If my children had done something like that, I would let the authorities handle them.

[Diana]

This is a no-brainer. We'd call the police.

[Keith]

arson and lieing to police would warrant a call to the cops. I want to think if it was something minor I'd deal with it myself but can't think of anything minor off hand.

[Jennie]

If it was recurrent, I'd let the police deal with it. But sometimes I think it does more harm than good to expose kids to that system, so I'd have to see that the kid wasn't responding to our intervention first.

[Bev]

What the kids are learning from "extra chores" is that they don't have to take responsibility. What the parents are learning is that when you cover up for your kids others can blackmail you (I watch "Desperate Housewives" too!) I would never cover up a crime that my kids had done, even if they were as young as those two kids were.

[barbie2be]

extra chores for setting something on fire?

i would turn them in.

[Becky68]

I would get with the police- wrong is wrong & there are always consequences to every action good or bad.

[usedtobeme]

Honestly? I'm not sure what I'd do.

I would feel very guilty that they had perhaps committed a crime becuase of my lack of parenting or my inability to teach them right from wrong.

As a parent, I obviously want to protect my children. However, there is a line and I'm not sure at what point I would cross it.

[rosemary]

My oldest son was a match playing kid. The first time I caught him I did the disciplining...the second time I called the Fire Department...they had a special program just for kids that did this....worked.

[Nepharia]

Oh, I'm sure that what I would do to my kids would be far worse than what the police would do...and it wouldn't just be a few extra chores.

If it were bad enough to cause damage to property or life, yes, we would call the cops. AND they'd have to face the parental units' wrath.

[Mamacita]

Would I call the police if my child broke the law? Darn right I would. To do otherwise is setting a bad example, not to mention another crime! I'd call the cops on YOUR child, too.

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and the sooner our kids learn that, the better. If scaring them to death and making them pay mightily is what it takes, so be it.

[James]

Mine would discover double discipline.

[Wonelle]

When my sister was a teenager she decided to order pizza and not pay. The driver called the police. The police hauled her in and called me because our parents were, well, not available. Anyway, the police said I had to pay or she'd get thrown in jail. Yeah, I was a teenager too - only 5 years her senior - BUT - I told them that I wasn't paying for her antics, to lock her up and throw away the key. To this day she's more afraid of me than she ever was of our mother.

What would I do to my kid or yours? Same thing! As adults, parents or not we have a responsibility to teach children that there are consequences for bad behavior. The earlier a kid learns that important rule, the better. Providing an alibi for such extreme behavior is only teaching the kid that they can get away with anything because mommy will protect them. That's simply bad News - for Mom, the kid, and you and me.

[oldschool]

If you don't how does that teach them consequences for their actions? That is the problem with people these days no one is being held accountable for their actions and then they lie on top of it.

Spare the punishment spoil the child