Wanting Your Opinion

Fist This Happened - Many months ago I posted this:

A blogfriend  of mine, who has chosen to remain annonymous, asked me to ask for your opinion.....

She writes: My husband and I  will be celebrating out fifteenth anniversary  later this month. Since we now have more money than when we first married he would like to upgrade my wedding rings; but I think it takes away from the  sentimental value of my current set. What do you think? Is it common to upgrade an engagement ring and  buy a new ring or get a bigger diamond?

What is  your opinion about "upgrading"  an engagement and/or wedding band?  If offered,  would you  wish to  "upgrade" yours?

Then This Happened - Earlier this evening a woman named Tammy left a comment that begins "I just upgraded after 17 years of marriage....." 

Then This  Happened - She then e-mailed me with this question.....

My question is the etiquette involved in showing this ring off now....is it OK for me to just whip my hand
out and tell everyone close to me how lucky of a woman I am and what a beautiful new wedding ring that my husband of 17 years just bought me??? Or should I wait until someone notices my ring first and then try to play it down???  I am so excited about this ring & LOVE it so much that I just want to show it to the world...but I don't want to come off as too pretentious or make it look like the Bling is all that I care about either......so now what?

Finally, This  Happens -  I ask you, is it acceptable to draw attention to an upgraded wedding set? Should Tammy play it down by simply waiting for others to notice  it?  In her words, "so now what?"

A blogfriend  of mine, who has chosen to remain annonymous, asked me to ask for your opinion.....

She writes: My husband and I  will be celebrating out fifteenth anniversary  later this month. Since we now have more money than when we first married he would like to upgrade my wedding rings; but I think it takes away from the  sentimental value of my current set. What do you think? Is it common to upgrade an engagement ring and  buy a new ring or get a bigger diamond?

What is  your opinion about "upgrading"  an engagement and/or wedding band?  If offered,  would you  wish to  "upgrade" yours?

Then This Happened - Earlier this evening a woman named Tammy left a comment that begins "I just upgraded after 17 years of marriage....." 

Then This  Happened - She then e-mailed me with this question.....

My question is the etiquette involved in showing this ring off now....is it OK for me to just whip my hand
out and tell everyone close to me how lucky of a woman I am and what a beautiful new wedding ring that my husband of 17 years just bought me??? Or should I wait until someone notices my ring first and then try to play it down???  I am so excited about this ring & LOVE it so much that I just want to show it to the world...but I don't want to come off as too pretentious or make it look like the Bling is all that I care about either......so now what?

Finally, This  Happens -  I ask you, is it acceptable to draw attention to an upgraded wedding set? Should Tammy play it down by simply waiting for others to notice  it?  In her words, "so now what?"

Comments

[Dak-Ind]

by all means show it off! my grandparents were very poor when they married. she had no engagement ring, and a small plain gold band for a wedding ring... after the children were all raised, for thier 25th anniversary my grandfather gave my grandmother her "engagement diamond" she cried and showed it off until the day she died 15 years later. a lifetime of love is signified in those rings, be they the first, poor offering, or the upgraded anniversary gift.

[karen]

Show it off! A new bride spends at least several weeks showing off her new wedding ring, and I see no reason why this is any different, especially since there is s story to go with it. If anything, showing people that you've managed for 17 years is a huge accomplishment, and should be broadcast!

[Claire]

Go show everyone your new ring!! Why can't you celebrate that after 17 yrs of marriage you can afford something that's a bit nicer than what you started out with!

[kenju]

The same thing happened to me. At our 17th anniversary, I got a beautiful new 3-diamond ring and gorgeous braided gold wire wedding ring. I showed it off to family members and good friends and let other people notice it on their own. You can brag about it to the people you know will be happy for you and not jealous, can't you?

[Mamacita]

Sentiment means more to me than anything money can buy. Why would I want to "update" a sentimental thing?

[Chrysalis]

Why not show it off if it makes you happy?

[Jennie]

Show it to your friends and family, let them share in your excitement. I tend to think like what Mamacita said, however, I think there's room for "new". Marriage does (should!) evolve into something even more wonderful than what it was when it started, so I think it's kind of neat when people celebrate that too with something new like another honeymoon or a ring.

[rampantbicycle]

I think it's perfectly fine to show it off a bit. I mean, you're already married, right? So the bling can't be ALL you care about! :) He did something sweet - flaunt it. ;)

[srp]

Sentiment is wonderful! But he loved her enough to "upgrade" her engagement ring... then by all means show it off, tell everyone! Of course, you mainly want HIM to know how much you love him and how much you appreciate his love, so why not save the real showing off to friends for a time when HE will at least be in earshot and can feel the love too. You could also work in something about how precious the original ring was to you.

I think the perfect idea would be to use the diamond and the gold or whatever metal it is set in, as part of the new ring. This incorporates the original sentiment and makes the new ring even more special.

[anniebird]

I don't like the practice of showing off anything; I think it's both pretentious and obnoxious to draw someone's attention to something material. I wonder if your friend isn't delighted by her new rings because of the status they suggest rather than the sentiment with which they were given or her satisfaction with how they look.

I'm not one for upgrading; I like the symbolism of a humble first ring - it says "for richer and poorer" to me - but if I were, I'd hope that I could quietly enjoy the beautiful new ring without needing to grandstand.

[annie]

I upgraded last year (after 5 years of marriage) and I didn't have to show it off, everyone who is close to me noticed right off.
I loved my old ring, of course, but everyone needs a change.

[Paula]

I think showing off is tacky and, yeah, kinda obnoxious. Not everyone has thousands of dollars to blow on a piece of jewelry. I'd show my mom, but that's about it. But I think it's fine to upgrade if you want to and people shouldn't be so critical. Not everyone is so sentimental about THINGS. A ring is a thing, after all, like a car or a house. Is it also so terrible to sell your starter home and get a bigger one? Sheesh.

[Kimmy]

Show it off! I mean don't stick it in the ladies face at the deli... until she asks to see it ;)

[Two Sirius]

17 years is something to celebrate and be proud of. Stick out that hand and show off the bling!