A High-Maintenance Question

Conversation joined in proress

Me: My mother called me a hih-maintenance woman.
Connie: You are hih maintenance.
Me: No, I am not.
Connie: Yes, you are.
Me: No, I am not.
Connie: Okay, you are not. Do you feel better now?
Me: Yes, thank you. However, I am curious, what is  your definition of a hih-maintenance woman?
Connie: Someone like  you.
Me: I need a second  opinion.

What is your definition of a hih-maintenance woman? Do you consider yourself hih-maintenance?

Comments

[tommy]

all women are high maintenance. some are just more expensive to maintain than others.

[better safe than sorry]

i don't consider myself to be high maintenance. i think it's more someone who needs alot of attention, not necessarily someone who takes alot of time to get ready, but maybe it's a combination of both. you seem fine to me.

[G]

What a coincidence! I just finished a blog entry about this. I don't think I'm high maintanence. The boyfriend would disagree. I'll meet him in the middle and go with mid-maintenance.

In my book, there are two types of HM. One has to do with appearance and one has to do with being a demanding person who requires lots of work from those around them.

[Ms. Mac]

Oh it depends on whether you're materially high maintenance where you like to have lots of lovely things given to your by your loved ones, or are you personally high maintenance where you like to look nice and pamper yourself physically (I am that kind of high maintenance) or emotionally high maintenance where you have to have lots of attention from those around you and it's always all about you.

Or are you all three?

[Megan]

I think I'd have to agree with Ms. Mac. I also am the personally high maintenance type.

I guess it depends on who is doing the maintaining whether it's high or not. Overall, I consider myself self-maintaining.

According to any guy, all women are high maintence because it takes us longer than 15 minutes to shower and be ready to leave the house. And because we like to talk about our feelings.

[Courtney]

This debate is like that line in When Harry Met Sally: "you're high maintenance that thinks she's low maintenance".

I am most likely high maintenance. I want what I want.

[Jade]

I don't consider myself high maintance on any level and I've asked the husband (who is very high maintance) about this. He agreed. I guess I'm as basic as they get.

[Carmi]

If I speak my mind, my wife will read this. And she will kill me.

:)

[geoff]

big difference between high financial and/or emotional maintenance.....$$$ is one thing, but high drama et al is another

[Paula]

I demand a lot of time and attention, but not loads of $$$. Whether or not that's high is in the eye of the beholder.

[archshrk]

High Maintenace is about how much you think about yourself and more specifically, how much you think others should think about you.

This takes on many forms from very demanding personalities (excessive standards for others or self to meet) to personal pampering (clothes, makeup, jewelry and other material things)

Ultimately, it's about pleasing yourself at the expense of others. Most of us, are willing to compromise or at least recognise that pleasing others is also to our benefit (like when we help a friend move or give up our seat on the bus) We self sacrafice while HM self-serve.

Interestingly, some HN use sacrafice to focus attention on themselves (Oh, how I suffered giving birth to you) This is simmilar to the Dreaded Drama Queen where every thing can be refocused to their needs and wants. (Mad TV did a good skit on this)

[Busted]

There's definitely different kinds of 'high maintenance qualities a person can have. (notice I said person? guys can be high maintenance too)

I'm totally a high maintenance person when it comes to my health since it takes alot to keep me healthy.

[Jamie]

I really don't know what my definition of a high maintenance woman is. I guess high maintenance people as I understand it most of all demand a lot of attention and may have quirks or expectations that aren't as easy to handle.

I consider myself pretty low maintenance and the last time I checked my husband agreed. And he should know.

[Mamacita]

High maintenance women focus mostly on themselves. They require a lot of material things in order to be happy. The right purse could take weeks to find, and it MUST match the dress. The purse will be filled with makeup, jewelry, and credit cards. Their cell phones ring constantly in public, they always answer no matter where they are and who they are with, and the messages are usually trivial if not downright frivolous. They speak loudly over the phone and really don't even notice that they are disturbing others. Certainly they don't care.

Low maintenance women focus mostly on others. They are happiest when they are helping someone else. Most of them have only one purse, and they're carried it for several years. The purse will be filled with coupons, paperback books, gift cards for bookstores and restaurants, playing cards, a McDonald's toy still in the cellophane, and various odd things that someone else asked them to carry for them. When their cell phone rings, they usually let it go to voicemail. If they see by the caller ID that it's important, they either go somewhere more private to talk, or they speak very low so others will not be disturbed.

High maintenance women need someone to boost their self-esteem and to supply them with goods and services.

Low maintenance women earn their own self-esteem, and can pay for the new purse themselves.

[Pickalish]

You know you are high maintenance when:

You are not happy unless everyone's attention is on you.

A dinner date must consist of something more than pizza hut's buffet or you're not gonna be caught dead eating it.

You only wear designer labels, and your wardrobe takes up more than your closet allows for.

You aren't happy unless someone is killing themselves to make you happy.

If you answered yes to more than 2 of these questions, you are high maintenance...if not, join the rest of us in the real world. =)

[dak-ind]

i used to be a high maintence woman. i had my nails done weekly my hair done weekly, drinks in hotel lounges that cost more than an entire meal from the grocery store deli that i now live on. then i got married and had a baby. now the most maintence i get is using a diaper wipe to get the spit up off my favorite shirt.

[kenju]

In my opinion, a high-maintenance woman is usually a drama queen, very selfish or ego-tistical to a fault. I am none of those.

[Marie]

To me, a high maintenance woman is very particular about a lot of things and needs quite a bit of attention. I don't think I'm high maintenance & my hubby actually agrees with me on that.

[Pomme]

Medium maintenance. Some stuff I'm adamant about and it's my way or the highway, other stuff I'm completely willing to go with the flow.

Also, in the immortal words of Jewel "I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way" and a lot of people confuse sensitivity w/being high maintenance.

[aka_monty]

I always envision high-maintenance women as those who require devotees to stroke their fragile egos, those who require the attentions of everyone around, who EXPECT their whims to be catered to without a thought.
Someone who requires a lot of maintenance to make them (and those around them) happy.

I am low maintenance (in my opinion), because my demands are few and I'm easy to please.

And evidently Mamacita has been peeking in my purse. McDonald's has "The Wild" toys this week. :)

[Keb]

Oh, I think there are varying degrees of HM women. I do not consider myself to be one. My Mother in Law, she is high maintenance. Do this, do that, buy me this, tell me that. Constant to the point of nagging. I’m the opposite. Tell me you love me once a day, come home at night, we’re good.

[Phil]

High maintenance simply means that someone (either the person him/herself or someone else) needs to invest a lot of time and/or effort and/or money in keeping that person happy. If the person needs a lot of attention, or a lot of gifts, or is "embarrassed" to be seen in public without spending hours primping themselves first, then they're high maintenance.

I'm about as low maintenance as you can get.

[Hot Karl]

someone like you

[yellojkt]

High maintanence means more trouble than they're worth. Guys are by definition, low maintenance. Our needs are simple. take care of them and we are fine.

[Im chele In [dot] LA]

I personally don't know many women that aren't high maintenance...

[NetChick]

I'm definitely high maintenance, depending on a majority of people polled. I have decerning tastes, I know what I like, I am picky with food and food prep, I hate having my house a mess especially when people are coming over, and my things are mine to take care of.

Yep, I'm high maintenance.

[Sandy J]

I am not high maintenance, but my husband is.

[peri]

I think I am high maintenance at times, but not most of the time.

My definition of high maintenance person is someone who needs continual ass kissing, and are mostly difficult without it. (sorry for the bad word, btw).

[Kristen]

High maintenance= Needy, bitchy, and showy....

I am a little bit of the first, I pride myself in the second, but the last is arrogant

[Begered]

I am not high maintenance, but plan to be starting on Monday! ;)

[anniebird]

I think "high maintenance" is a term coined by men to describe the difficulties they have in relating to women generally. It's not really a pejorative term in my book (I'm hard to offend), more a reflection of our tendency to want to examine, discuss and categorize all things interpersonal. Those of us who throw in ridiculous neediness for attention, praise and reassurance give "high maintenance" it's negative connotations. Yeah, I'm high maintenance. I'm a woman:)

[Luis Semprun]

Defenition for high maintenance: (see NWA song: "A Bitch Iz A Bitch") I personally love high maintenance chicks because they're usually hot. And i love to spoil... And low-maintenance are cool too, but they're too busy helping others, to help themselves to a good make over. I dislike girls that where the same shit all the time, like mid-maintenance i could deal with, but if you like helping others, you better have pretty, hair that smells of peaches. Sinceirly- Anonymous latin who was raised by a high maintenance mother.

[Samantha]

HM: I think when men use the word "high maintenance" they are categorizing a woman into someone who demands things from them. The ultimate strategy is to not take responsibility for your feelings and divert the blame back on to you.

The type of "demands" I'm referring to is respect, kind acts and words (not harmful ones), helping the person, giving back, prioritizing this person in your life, etc. These are the types of behaviors a woman (or man) should expect in a relationship, and I would not classify them as HM. Just someone who might have been in an abusive relationship, with an immature kid, or a combination of the two.

If a guy has been very negligent with your feelings (and you've stayed in the bad relationship), and he calls you too sensitive and HM, it's really just a cop out from taking responsibility for your feelings because he doesn't care about them and he's a lazy slacker!

[Rod Miller]

There is an interesting book on this topic. It's titled "American Epidemic: High Maintenance Women". It released this year. There is more information about the book at www.americanepidemic.net

[Shanee']

High maintenance women are usually those who are very selfish and wealthy. Require God and all of heaven's hosts to bow down to her. A woman that needs a reality check and has never experienced an income less than 100+ a year. "Old money family". A woman whos maid lifted her finger just to press a button on the remote. As for me. Self maintained. I do what I need to do when I need it but with a little pizazz! Basic: Hair, nails, feet, casual dress followed by a little burberry brit hahah Smelling like new money!!!! And I dont even make 30,000 a year.

[shanny]

why is it that a woman who knows what she wants in life is considered high maintenance. If you speak ur mind in what you want out of life your labeled 'HIGH MAINTENANCE' but if you dont speak your mind your considered 'TIMID'and people walk all over you. Frankly i don't know which one is worse. Which one would you want to be labeled?

[Michele]

Yes i am high -Maintenance. I know what i want & i go out & get it...O & i like what i like it feels good to me!!!!!!!!