The Daily Advice

Raehan wants to know.....

I have never been a very ood schmoozer.  Althouh on most days this is not a bi concern to me, there are times when a little schmoozin skill could come in handy.  If you could offer one piece of advice to someone that is schmooze-challened what would it be?

Comments

[Paula]

Remember people's names, give them a compliment and ask a question. Like so: "Hi, Raehan! Nice haircut. How are your kids doing?" Then they will jabber happily and you can nod and smile.

[MommaK]

Pick out something they are wearing and compliment them on it. Look for something that they probably tried real hard on...like a handbag or shoes and make them feel great about it.

Then there is the old standby..."Have you lost weight?"

[MissMeliss]

Eye contact is key. Make it. Keep it.

[Kissing Bandit]

give compliments like candy...

[Cecilia]

I couldn't agree more with Kissing Bandit. :)

Break into a smile and every positive thought imaginable will follow. A little "hello" helps and head straight to say something nice like "oh my, you are looking well today".

[Shane]

Begin your schmoozing by asking questions and being genuinely interested. Then, when your schmoozee isn't looking turn the schmoozing around - build upon their responses and gently point out 'Gosh, aren't we getting along famously - you're great, I'm great, we're so great. Now, about that contract...'.

[Zinnia Cyclamen]

What everyone else said - and listen, really listen. That's always flattering to the other person, and sometimes you learn something interesting too.

[megan]

- spread it on thick - compliments work great!
- use their name, people love the sound of their own names
- start a conversation with a stranger - safe topics: food, weather, music.

[Marie]

Relax, smile, if you know of common interests talk 'em up, remind yourself that he/she is just an imperfect human too... ;-)

Great job today Raehan!!!!

[Isabella]

I'm awful at schmoozing, so I have no advice to offer. I'm paying close attention though.

[Megan]

Just be your lovely self and ask lots of questions about the other person. They'll think you're brillant! ;)

[indigo]

If it's your dad you want to smooze (for say, a new kitty), just bat your eyelashes and smile a lot. It worked every single time!

[sleepingmommy]

Always remember their name and address them with respect using any titles, Mr. Mrs. Dr. Mayor Congressman etc.

Ask their opinion or advice. It makes them feel important.

[tanya]

Relax, smile, listen. :) People LOVE to talk about themselves - if you let them, they'll think you're AWESOME.

[Thumper]

I suck at schmoozing...all I can do is sit back and learn from others.

[Lily Bleu]

Ask about their career, pets, spouse, children, and then if need more ideas: books they're reading, films new to theaters, and local events and news.

:)

[mean_girl]

Everyone has listed all the good points. Eye contact and my smile are my two personal best weapons in the battle of the schmooze.

[Hillbilly Mom]

I have no advice to offer. I'm not very good at it. I know I should ask people about themselves, but it makes me feel like I'm ass-kissing. I can't be fake and pretend to be interested. I have to get to know people and be genuinely interested in them to relax and let the conversation flow. I can't stand people who make small talk with me, then dump me the minute someone "better" comes along.

[Raehan]

Oh, you all make it sound so easy.

Now I just need an occasion to schmooze and give it a try.

Smile. (check)
compliment. (check)
relax. (I'm trying dammit)

[helena]

First and foremost, look good yourself. I've been attractive (read thin) and unattractive (uh, not thin) and let me tell you, people listen to attractive people much more than unattractive. Sucks, but true. Then lay on the compliments. But compliments from someone unattractive (unless it's anonymous like online) are never as special as those from people who look great.

[Pearl]

Enjoy yourself. You may get nothing out of it but the pleasure of the process. You may be rather hit and miss to begin but you only get along the learning curve if you're on it.

[aka_monty]

Aha! I'm not so good with the one-on-one, but I know how to work a crowd. :)

I know how funny you are...just let a little of yourself sparkle through when you're schmoozing.
Plus I was honored to attend your blog party, and I think you were a fantastic hostess. Just do that again, when you're dealing with RL people.

Have a warm smile and always say:
1. Hey! How ARE you? (like you really mean it)
2. Can I get you anything?
3. Have you met *the last person you just talked to*?

Does that count as more than one piece of advice?

[Raehan]

These are all truly helpful. Thank you so much.