According to MommaK

This post was written by MommaK of Petroville.

It's Me….No, Really

Occasionally I receive neative comments on my blo. Nothin outraeous, just the usual…a irl who's smack dab in the middle of her monthly menstrual madness and wants to rab me by the ear or some smart ass who feels the need to show us all how smart he thinks he is. My first reaction is always the same. I want to bite their head off, make them look foolish and sometimes even block them from my site, but I never do. Instead, I let their comment sink in and stin. I sit here and try to understand their point of view. Then I catch myself wonderin if I am a coward for doin so. Do you know why? The answer is a simple one that I have recently just discovered.

The answer is because I am a better person on my blo than I am in real life. Is this a surprisin admission? I have to say that it jarred me a bit. The thouht first occurred to me a few weeks ao durin a conversation with a friend who is also a bloer. She said that I seem much different, "happy-o-lucky", on my blo than in person. Bein that she can absolutely testify to my numerous personality flaws and mood swins in real life, her comment hit home. So like any other ood bloer, I overanalyzed it.

I've since realized that my personality is a bit different on my blo due to one key inredient – time to diest. I can blo at my convenience so there is never a need to be reactionary or curt. Out here I can be welcomin, warm, objective, patient, open-minded, kind, brave, sarcastic (okay, the sarcastic part is me all of the time) and yes, even happy-o-lucky. I am all of these in reality as well, but in much smaller doses.

I have beun to look at this positive bloin as "practice". Out here I am easily able to act how I wish I could behave all of the time – in the rocery store, in a crowded airport, sittin in miserable traffic or on the receivin end of terrible customer service. My hope is that with enouh practice, I will find a way add that critical reaction time to my real life interactions and by doin so, enhance and improve them. At that point I will be more of the person I strive to be, the irl you know out here. Practice makes perfect, riht?

So tell me…
Who are you really? If a family member or ood friend read your blo, would they think it matched your real life personality? Does your blo portray you as you are in real life or more how you wish you were?

Comments

[Raehan]

Oh Gosh. It's so hard to see myself clearly. That's why I blog.

The time to digest factor that you mention is key. I am more articulate on my blog than I am in real life. In real time, I have a sense of humor, but it's delayed. It takes me a minute or so to come up with a witty remark and by that time the moment is over. I get the sense that other bloggers think I'm calm and well-put together in real life and that's just not true.

I don't see my blog persona as a better person. It's me if I had a little more time to pull things together.

And you are MommaK in real life....in the same way.

But I know exactly what you mean.

[Hillbilly Mom]

My blog is like the image I present to people in real life. They would think it is the same. Is it the real me? No.

Does my blog portray how I wish I were? No. I know who I am. I don't have to wish. I just choose not to show the real me to people. It is easier that way. Only a few people know the real me. And it isn't necessarily family.

[Destiny Anne]

my blog is what i wish i could say to people when i talk face to face with them. it is the real me, and the friend that i did give my blog thing to says that its not me because i don't use the word "bastard", http://destinyanne.blogspot.com/2005/08/insert-title-here.html. which is true, i was just so pissed.

[Mamacita]

I think I am the same in person as I am on my blog, but it's difficult to judge yourself. Sometimes I am braver on my blog than I really am, though. In real life I am a big wuss.

[xtessa]

i think i've shown who i really am in my blog... and sometimes found out something about me that i never thought i was. for instance, some of my blogfriends would say that i'm pretty funny, which i never thought i was in real life. i asked my hubby about this and he actually thinks that i'm funny.;)

my siblings read my blog, so does a few of my friends... so far, not one of them have said that i was different from my blog personality.:)

[christina]

Yes, my blog matches my personality but it usually portrays my positive side. I'm actually much more negative and less focused in real life, but I'm using my blog as a way to show *myself* that there are good things in my life and that I should be grateful for them.

[Marie]

I'm pretty sure it's the same ol' me in blog-land. If anything, I hold back a bit on the blog though. Sometimes I just let 'er rip though. Ahh! That feels good! ;-)

[Marie]

I'm pretty sure it's the same ol' me in blog-land. If anything, I hold back a bit on the blog sometimes. Then there are days when I just let 'er rip. Ahh! That feels good! ;-)

[kenju]

I think I am just the same on my blog as I am in life; but recently my husband (who reads it everyday) says that I am different in it. He says that I am funnier, less caustic and much nicer on the blog than I am at home, at least to him.

If you asked my friends, they would probably say I am the same. I do know what you mean about having time to read and digest what is being said back to you - so that you have time to "get over"negativity before you respond to it.

Michele sent me!

[megan]

I think that in a blog I know I have readers and in some ways I cater to their perceived expectations, somewhat. Only when it comes to what's appropriate for a blog. I don't pretend to be someone that I'm not - I'm very honest in my blog. I do, however, understand the frustration of receiving negative comments or emails about something that you wrote in your blog. Certainly, since my blog is public, aren't I putting myself out there for people to stick their two cents in? Not necessarily. I now understand why people put disclaimers on their blog. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

[Leanne]

My close friends and family who read my blog tell me they love to read my blog for one simple reason: I write exactly how I talk.

So I'd have to say WYSIWYG, both in person and online, perhaps with just a few more unshared personal details. :)

[Jean-Luc Picard]

It'd like to say my blog is an extension of myself that allows me to be more creative.

[Jennie]

Good question! Recently I was thinking about what interacting on the computer has shown me about myself...on my blog I'm pretty much me, I think. However, in interactive boards or even here where people are discussing issues I'm MUCH more opinionated and verbose than I am in real life. Of course I have my opinions, but I am a quiet person in 3D. WRiting is the way I am comfortable expressing. It's sort of just "thinking" to me.

[Shannin]

My husband reads my blog, and he thinks it's a pretty good reflection of my personality and our life. I think I may be more bold and honest on my blog, because I'm able to vent.

[Paula]

I am much more likely to keep my opinions to myself in real life.

[Diana]

Hey Michele and MOmmaK!
I think my blog reflects me and my family...That is basically all I talk about! My family is my life!! I have friends and family members read my blog daily so that they can see new pics of Des! I hope yall have a great weekend TTYL

[Heather]

This is quite possibly the best post I have ever read! Can I just say "ditto" to everything you said about yourself?

[Janet]

I'm me, no more, no less. Not into playing games or portraying myself differently than I am. I'm sure my friends and family members think my blog matches my real life personality LOL!

[dena]

I think I'm me, but I'd have to ask some of my friends that do read my blog.

[yellojkt]

My blog is much wittier and sarcastic than I am. At least I hope so.

[soapbox.SUPERSTAR]

I think mine portrays me pretty well. I tell the good with the bad.

[Pearl]

I reached the same conclusion as you about it being like entraining yourself with the luxury of a time lag. To know someone else's opinions on face to face instead of font to font, I'd have to solicit them. I'd have to get back to you on that. I think I can come across as more intense than my mellow face to face because few wish to engage on more complex subjects. I, unfortuantely, as of yet, don't break out into spontaneous recitals of free verse in person. Perhaps I'll have to work on that tho.

[bonnie]

You ask the penetrating questions, MommaK! Michele will be proud!

I embrace the artistic license of being able to put my best foot forward on the blog, when in real life I might be dragging it in the mud.

In yoga, while holding inversion poses, the teacher often says "Drop your mask." Scary, but oh-so-healing!

[Last Girl On Earth]

This IS a great question, MommaK! I believe that my blog IS me. I try to be happy most of the time. I'll admit that when I'm in a bad mood, I WON'T blog about it... but I WILL try to find the humor in the situation. That ends up making me feel better!

[True Jersey Girl]

Good to see you here, MommaK! And great post.

I think I am pretty much "me" on my blog. Of course, its only a snippet of my life, but I think my personality generally comes through. I am no less bitchy on my blog than I really am - and when I have had trolls, I let them know just what I think of them.

[srp]

I hope it is mostly like me. I tend to stay away from politics as I'm a bit pessimistic there and probably wouldn't agree with many out there.

Occasionally, I get on a soap box, but you'd have to have lived in my shoes. I try to remember this when I read others getting on their soap boxes. It's kinda like the time my two dogs got in a knock down drag out fight, biting each other and I was trying to separate them. Dad got the video and started taping. That made me so mad I yelled for him to put the thing down and help me. Later I had to look at the tape and make sure I hadn't slipped and said some "bad" words (dad is minister), because I may not have said them but I was sure thinking them.

My daughter says the blog is me, so that is good enough.

[annie]

I think in real life, one would say I'm more quiet and don't talk as much, but that doesn't mean I'm not watching, thinking, analyzing the situation in probably 20 different ways, so that's why I'm being a little quiet. Sometimes I think too much! Of course, that doesn't mean I ALWAYS think before I speak OR blog.
I spent my younger life being told that basically the way I thought or spoke was wrong. I think I was BORN cycnical with a sarcastic sense of humor and I just adore satire, too. I've learned to love it and embrace it; it's ME and there is nothing wrong with it!
So, I think I am basically the same, in person or in blogville.

[Thumper]

With my blog, what you see is what you get--but there are some things I don't say simply because my family reads it. No venting about my childhood...it might be cathartic but I'm not about to hurt my parents in the process.

[mean_girl]

My blog matches my personality, along with what I'm dealing with in my life. Sometimes it's sad, days that it's happy... I change with the tide and this reflects with my posting. There are days that I play games, days that I share my thoughts and days that I don't feel like talking at all.

As for the comments, I respond however I see fit. Just like who I am in life, I say whatever fits my mood. If I'm annoyed, I show it. If I'm passionate, it comes through...

mg

[danielle]

Mine is pretty close to IRL. I think that I too come across as a bit more happy-go-lucky, and a bit more girly than I am... especially when I post about sexy panties!

[ciera]

I still have a tendancy to be as uhm, reactionary here in bloggerland like I am in "real life"......I'm getting better at thinking before I reply in any sphere. My brother is reading my blog right now and he is sooo not happy with me...I get the feeling that he thinks I'm being to open and stuff. Like, whatever. Although {{{blushing}}} I did invite him to stay off my blog. That will make him so muhc more happier!!!! This was a good thinking question.

[poopie]

Hey you! Good question..hmm. I think my blogging style is pretty equally matched with the real me. I rant and bitch and whine and have up and down days. Usually with the Poopster, what you see is what you get ;)

[keb]

I'm a bit more honest on my blog than I am in real life when it comes to family issues. Sadly I wish I could say some of this stuff in person - especially to my hubby but I'm a weiner like that. However, if friends read it, they would concur that it portrays an accurate picture.

[marie]

I think that how I write is how I am and how I talk to others. I just let my thoughts flow freely verbally and on the page.

[Lucinda]

Love your post and the points it brings up. When I started my blog, it was a confessional and I felt like it was actually more negative than I really am. But now, I try to write about the funny things in life- I feel good instead of bad now when I write and I feel like it's a reflection of me at my best. My friends would say it's definitely all me- but strangers and acquaintances would be surprised that I'm actually pretty nice and pretty funny sometimes.
Thanks for asking!

[cori]

I am a much nicer person on my blog than in real life! I am a bitch at home. No just kidding. But I am much more positive on my blog and in my comments. I think this helps me in the outside world as well. Thanks for asking and great post! Well done! See?

[better safe than sorry]

my kids read my blog so i'm careful what i write, can't be too honest if i'm having a day where they are pissing me off, but other than that, it's definitely me.

[anon]

Actually, MommaK, you did block me. And you changed my comment. It was when you wrote about punishing your daughter by making her write something 100 times and I criticized that saying it didn't really do much good. So now you're lying about blocking people. I liked reading your blog, but just really had to speak up about meaningless discipline.

[MommaK]

Anon, it's LuckyLoo - right? I remember your comment.

"So what exactly did that accomplish? What did she learn? Why did you make her do that? Maybe she heard those words from you. I think you need to think about what kind of punishment is right for your child and less time blogging about it."

Since you left no way of responding to your opinion, as you have done once again here, I did temporarily block you from commenting again. However, I did not block you from my site. Your words hurt me because they were mean spirited and I did not even know you. If you enjoyed reading my blog so much, why did you choose to introduce yourself to me in such a negative way?

[aka_monty]

I tend to write just as I speak. And my comments are much the same as I would respond to a person 'in real life'. And as anyone who reads my blog knows, I rarely put much thought into things before I speak (or type). :) That's something I find so fascinating about blog-reading~the glimpses of the 'real' person behind the words. I feel like your personality bleeds through, whether you wish it to or not. And anonymous posters...what's up with being too shy? cowardly? to leave your name? We can't eat you, you know. If you don't leave a name, it makes me feel as though you're too embarrassed by your own words to identify yourself. That should tell you something about yourself. I'm just sayin'.

[FTS]

I agree with Mamacita in that it's hard to see yourself objectively. I feel like the person on my blog is pretty much the same person that I am among the living and breathing, but that may not be entirely true.

It's easier to think on something before responding to a comment. It's easier to erase and rethink something I wrote before I hit the publish key.

Good question. Bears a lot of thought.

[anon]

Maybe I'm someone who regularly comments, but wanted to comment anonymously about that. Please, really, the "cowardly" names are just plain silly. You should accept the reality that sometimes it's easier to leave a comment anonymously. Or just accept that it's my choice. Anyway, why would you only want positive comments, wouldn't that be a little boring?

[MommaK]

Anon / LuckyLoo-
If your someone who regularly comments on my blog then I most likely consider you my friend. Why you would want to discuss this over here and in some secret shroud is beyond me. You must know that commenting anonymously opens you up as a target for the word "coward" among others. Anytime you want to have an adult conversation, you know where to find me.

[Sigmund, Carl and Alfred]

If this weren't the vitual world, I would say that it might be best if some of this conversation were taken outside.

After all, we're guests in Michele's virtual living room.

By the way MommaK we loved the guest post!

[indigo]

Excellent guest post!

I think you've made some great points here, and I think I'm the same in my blog as I am in real life, except that I'm able to tweak my words so that it comes out exactly right the first time. In real life I might lose my head a bit more .... which is never a good thing. But *I* think I'm humorous in real life, and *I* think I'm direct in real life, and *I know* I would have written that letter to a certain someone regarding a blog 'snafu' in real life too. You know what I'm talking about MommaK.

[sleepingmommy]

How did I miss your day as Michele?

By the way, I can absolutely tell you there are those in my life who feel that my blog doesn't really reflect who I am in real life.

I tell them though, it's who I am inside. It's what I'm thinking. Cuz I dont usually hold much back on the blog.

[alice, uptown]

I would say my blog is a combination of memoir, musings, rant, travelogue, social commentary, and shouting into the void. It's reflective of me and my perspective on the world, and it's definitely in my voice, but parts of my life are bloggable, and others aren't. The entire premise is one that has been evocative of my life to date.

Great question.