According to Courtney

This post was written by Courtney from Midvale School for the ifted Alumni Association

First, may I just say that it is quite the thrill to be writin here.  My first “uest-bloin” invitation, and I’m really excited to han out and be the internet cocktail party hostess for a chane.  Thank you, Michele.  Now, onto my story...

Suddenly, I’m the veteran (read: old) concert oer.

I recently headed out to see one of my all-time favorites, Ani DiFranco. All by my lonesome, I hopped in the car and left a family vacation one day early to see her. The show was at a lovely little venue in a seaside town in my home state.  Essentially, a lorified circus tent, maybe 1000 seats, with a theater-in-the-round stae.

Walkin into the show, a lovely youn 20-ish woman flirted with me.  I think this because as I approached her roup of friends, I saw her look at my chest (I have really bi breasts), dash over to her friend and whisper somethin hurriedly, then jump back into my path with this challene, “if you uess my name, I’ll ive you a beer.”  I was not successful in uessin, but stayed and chatted a bit with the other four women she was with, then headed up to the tent.   

Arriving somewhat early, I had a chance to people watch.  Let me confess right now; if you’re in a crowd, and I’m nearby, I can guarantee I’ve critiqued your outfit/hair style/traveling companion.  I fully admit that this is catty and judgmental, but it’s entertaining as hell, and there’s no better place to people watch than an outdoor music venue.   Those of you who are familiar with Ani’s music know that she draws a largely female audience, and this evening’s crowd was no exception.  Her fans fall into several subgroups.  First, there’s your full-on lesbians.  And, since this town is close to one of the most well known gay summer meccas, there were scads of lesbians, of all shapes and sizes, holding hands, tailgating, and having a grand old time.  Then, there’s your wannabe(but not really) lesbians, those Smith College undergraduate types, with bandanas and braids and the boho skirts dragging in the dirt, who wax rhapsodic about finding some patchouli-scented hippy guy to join the Peace Corps with before they graduate and get married (I had this conversation with one of them, so I’m only generalizing a little bit).  After that, you get my category, average white girl in jeans and flip-flops.  Throw in the “enlightened males”, activist types, and various uncategorizable humans, and you have a pretty funky mix of folks.

My favorite sight of the evening, largely because it confused me beyond belief, was this young woman.  Bottle blonde, with a cowboy hat, a tight black tank top which read “I do it in the mud” in green letters (the back revealed itself to be a Jeep ad), camouflage cut-off mini skirt, and flip flops.  If that wasn’t enough, her petite friend was wearing a yellow version of the same shirt, and they were accompanied by two young men, one of which was wearing a homemade t-shirt that read, “today’s my birthday, BITCH”.   Which, somehow, felt terribly inappropriate at an ANI DIFRANCO CONCERT, the woman who embodies female power and independence.  The young woman who tried to pick me up also rolled her eyes in disbelief.

After finishing my beer, I decide to use the facilities before sitting down in my seat.  At this venue, you can imagine, the line to the ladies’ room was nothing short of horrific.  Behind the bathrooms, they actually had two rows of portable toilets marked “Ladies Only”, which were the CLEANEST PORTA-POTTIES EVER.  Little mats on the floor, hand sanitizer, no piss on the seats.  However, at this point in the evening, they were running out of toilet paper, so I grabbed a stack of napkins from the concession stand.  In front of me were three young women, debating whether or not to try and pee in the bushes or behind the portable toilets.  Back and forth, back and forth, until finally, I had to chime in.  “Peeing in the bushes at a Jimmy Buffett concert is appropriate; at an Ani concert, somehow it’s wrong.”  To my surprise, this line made me the coolest person in the toilet line.
“SEE!  (taps her friend)  Say what you just said again!” 
“You are the coolest, you know what’s going on, of COURSE it’s not right at an AAAANI show!” 
At this point, I reply, “well, I've been doing this for 20 years.”
“Huh?  There’s NO WAY you’re older than 20.”  (insert eye roll here).
“I am.  Try again”
“You CAN’T be 30!”
“Um, keep going.”  Their jaws drop.  “35? Seriously?”
“No, 33, though.”
“Ok, guess how old I am?”  Apparently, the other reason for everyone’s attendance there was to guess each others vital statistics.  To summarize, they were 18.  After guessing correctly, they started paying attention to the people coming out of the toilets again, who were all saying, “no paper”.  Before my new buddies got too confused, or debated the bushes again, I handed them each a portion of my napkins.  “Oh, WOW, you are, like, the BEST EVER!”
“She’s got it, she’s the veteran, she knows what’s up.”
“You’re so sweet,” as she pats my head.  No, really, she patted my head. However, everyone had paper, everyone was happy, and I went to my seat, realizing I’d turned that “aging hipster” corner, for real this time. Middle-aged, in concert-going terms.  Is this going to stop me?  Hell no.  Just make sure you punch me in the nose if I start waxing rhapsodic about the “good old days”.  Or the Peace Corps.

Comments

[kimbofo]

You should try going to a U2 gig these days. You'd be practically a baby. No joke. I'm 36 and I felt very young! :)

[~Easy]

Unless it's The Dead, I feel like an old fart at shows.

[indigo]

Oh jeez, now I feel old at the spunky young age of 36-1/6! ;-)

I just read a review of the Ani concert from a another blog. I wonder if you were at the same concert?

[Plumkrazzee]

The best part of being an "aging" rocker: (I'm 31)

You get to sneak into the press box seats without anyone asking you if you're really with the press. I've done this several times, and let me say...you should try it! Suddenly your Nose Bleed ticket turns into one of the best in the house, and no one even questions your identity!

[trusty getto]

Great story! I've been at both ends of the spectrum. At the ripe old age of 38, my buddy and I were clearly about the OLDEST people at Sevendust/Stain'd a year-and-a-half ago. On the other end, we were some of the YOUNGEST at Lynyrd Skynyrd last summer.

[mainja]

i find this stuff facinating. the last live show i went to was spirit of the west, also an outside show. and there was a huge mix of people. some young pups, some older. at 29 i feel somewhere in the middle.

fun to people watch in that crowd. (well, any crowd really...)

[Old Horsetail Snake]

"veteran" That should make you feel warm all over.

[Carl V.]

Great post! Sounds like you had a wonderful time. Glad you got to be the "cool" one at the ripe old age of 33 (says the 36 yr old!).

Have a great week!