A Timely Question

An ABC News/Washinton Post Poll recently asked:

As you may know, a woman in Florida named Terri Schiavo suffered brain damae and has been on life support for 15 years. Doctors say she has no consciousness and her condition is irreversible. Her parents and her husband disaree on whether or not she should be kept on life support. In cases like this who do you think should have final say, the parents or the spouse?

Of those polled 65% said spouse and 25% said parents.

So, let me ask you: who would you want to have the final say?   

Do you personally have a livin will or health care proxy to deal  with your wishes for medical treatment if you're unable to do so, or not? 

Please Note: If you would like to offer links to posts that discuss Terri Schiavo, please do so. In fact I would appreciate it.  However, I will not personally post any links. There are so many wonderfully written and heartfelt posts and opinions; it would be unfair for me to choose only a few.

Comments

[Karen]

Ideally, I'd like for my family to come to an agreement together.

That said, both my husband and I do have living wills in place.

[nat]

I don't have a living will yet, but I will get that taken care of! My husband knows my wishes, but I'm sure my folks would not agree with my choice and would probably not follow through. I'd designate a person to follow through for me. I'd want my husband to have the final word, that is, for now. (hey, a girl can change her mind!)

[UV]

Husband. But my parents would do the same as he would in a Terri-type situation, as opposed to the lunatic Schindlers who have make a freak show out of her.

I still need to sign a directive.

[Raehan]

I was just discussing this with my husband yesterday. Unfortunately, we don't have living wills in place.

My answer to your first question is that the person or persons who have my best interests in mind, and who are aware of what my wishes would have been should have final say.

[tommy]

http://althouse.blogspot.com/2005/03/terri-schiavo-and-federalism.html

That pretty much sums up everything I have to say on the deal. The only point I want to make about your post is she is not on life support, unless you consider food and water life support, then we are all on it. Because of that(I am certainly no legal expert) I am not sure a living will is relevant.

[Michele]

Tommy: Please note that the "life support" reference is NOT mine, it is a direct quote (which is why it is in quote form) from the ABC News/Washington Post Poll.

[Kris]

While I think the closest person to them would be the one to make the decision (thus the spouse), I do think this guy has alterior motives. If he loved her that much to follow her wishes, then he wouldn't have a girlfriend (let alone kids with her) to begin with. There's time for that AFTER divorce or death. Simply criminal in my opinion.

[Cara]

I believe that my family should come together and make the decision. Terri's husband is wanting her killed for his owm personal reasons. Terri is not unconscious and does interact as much as she can with her family. Her own body is keeping her alive..the only thing that will cause death is if her feeding tube (that is inserted and removed throughout the day) is completely removed. She is not on a ventilator and no other means are keeping her alive. For all of the FACTS please take the time to visit www.terrisfight.org.

[Shane]

Where there's not been a written or verbal statement made by the individual, I would refer to the parents as a default action. However, where there is evidence of the individual having made a 'lifelong commitment' to a spouse or spouse-figure that control over decision-making would transfer to the spouse or spouse-figure. Thus, the nature of the relationship between the individual and their spouse is what would ultimately determine who made the final decision.

At present, according to this view, as I have yet to make a lifelong commitment to my partner, my parents would carry the burden of making the big decision for me. I have no formal health care proxy. In fact, this comment is the most clear statement of my own wishes on such a matter.

...what do I owe you?

[Marie]

We're reviewing the paperwork here, so that we have our wishes in writing. I'd prefer my spouse to make the decision, but not if he has moved on & started a family with someone else! In my opinion, this man left his marriage when he hooked up with someone else and started a family, and thus should not be entitled to any rights as spouse.

[Shannin]

I do not have a living will, but do need to get one in place as I would not want to continue to "live" like this. I have discussed my wishes with my husband and my parents and we are all on the same page.

As far as the husband having moved on, I have been around several caregivers who were still married while their significant other was in long term care (coma, vegatative state, etc.). Some chose to move on, while others held on. I do not hold it against those who moved into other relationships.

[Sigmund, Carl and Alfred]

We would not question the poll results. We would question Michael Schiavo, speaking on Terri Schiavo's best interests.

It is interesting that the poll is presented in such a way as to make it appear as if the results are an opinion on Schiavo.

[Seuss]

I'd rather it be a general consensus between my parents and my spouse. However, if I were in Terri's state, in which she is as responsive as possible and is being kept alive by means of a feeding tube only, I'd really rather live than be starved to death. Don't do anything to me you can't do to civilians under the Geneva Convention, thanks.

Life support, however....that's another issue. I don't have a living will in place at this point in time, but I will in the next few months. Until then, my husband and my parents are all well aware of my wishes.

[maryse]

i'm kind of on the fence on this case. i definitely would want my husband to make the final decision because he'd be the one to know what my wishes were whereas my family wouldn't have a clue. however, i'm finding it a bit cruel to have her feeding tube removed and allowing her to starve to death. however, i'm totally against congress getting involved. congress and the president have no business what so ever weighing in on this case.

[tommy]

I should have been more clear in my comment, I was directing the life support thing to the quote. As far as congress and the president getting involved I guess it all depends on whether or not you think they should try and preserve an individual's rights when a state is attempting to take them away. As Ann Althouse said, it is essentially providing a death sentence without due process. Of the three branches of Florida's government, the two elected ones have attempted to keep her alive. I am not willing to say that she should not be allowed to die, but I do not think a sufficient case has been made for that yet.

[Claire]

In my case (being there is no significant other to argue) my Mum would be responsible and although I don't have a living will it is something we have all discussed and she is 100% aware of my opinions.

In general cases like this I think it should be down to the spouse as they are officially the next of kin. Unless there is a living will in which case this should be adhered to regardless of the opinions of family...after all it's that person's life to make the decisions about.

[Christien Lomax (theCatWhisperer)]

This subject just pisses me off... I mean, she's pretty much dead, she has NO frontal lobe activity (which is where the "concousness" is), she has 0% chance of recovering, yet the family is bent on keeping her alive!! What about her rights? What about the rights of the husband who has to see her in this state every day?... Why are Bush and his bible-thumping cronies in on it?

*sigh*

For me is simple, I've told my g/g if ever I am in a state like that to roll me off the bridge.. ;)

PS: Living wills don't always work... there was a case where the family over-turned the will.. I'll try and find it...

/c

[Christien Lomax (theCatWhisperer)]

yeah, that WAS supposed to be g/f (as in girlfriend) but I can't type worth crap.. :D

[Pearl]

If it were me, I'd want my doctor to make the call. As this spouse has been having another spouse and second family, perhaps it should default back to her parents.

Living will is that which I haven't got around to.

[Sigmund, Carl and Alfred]

Christian, we're glad you have an arrangement with your g/f.

Nevertheless, the fact is that the Schiavo case isn't about YOU.

Further, despite your expert and hands on opinion, there are qualified physicians that have sworn out affadavits testifying that Ms Schiavo is not in a PVS.

Of course, that won't matter to YOU. After all, who is more important than YOU?

Why, you ought to get a trophy!

[chasmyn]

Quite frankly, I would be okay with either in my own case, because I know that both would respect MY wishes and not put their own wants first. My mother is a retired hospice nurse and my husband knows what I would want and he would honour that. Terri has not been so lucky it seems.

Personally I don't think it's anyone's business but the family's. It isn't up to us, the public and is especially not up to politicians to get some political gain from this family's suffering.

If I had to choose, I would go with the spouse. But it isn't and should never be up to me or anyone who isn't a part of her family.

Would YOU want to live like that if you were her? I wouldn't.

[Cheryl]

For me? I'd give the final decision to the doctors.

There are pictures of Terri smiling, on the web, Theres even a tape of her responding audibly to communication; hardly vegetative. There are complaints against the judge that he refused to entertain alternative medical advice and that he has now refused the family any right to try and feed her by mouth. There are accusations from her friends and even from Mr Schiavo's past partners that Schiavo has violent mood swings, that Terri wanted a divorce.
It seems Schiavo never mentioned Terri's desire to die to the doctors until after he had spent a year going to court to get her compensation. He only changed her records to 'do not rescusitate' three months after that court case was successful.
I dont know the truth but I know this whole thing smells rotten.
http://www.terrisfight.org/timeline.html
http://www.terrisfight.org/press/031005.html
http://www.spiritdaily.com/schiavoallegations.htm

[tanya]

It's a tough call. In my case, I would think that my parents and my spouse would be in agreement. In this case, it just seems fishy. It bothers me that the media calls a feeding tube "life support" - my brother has a feeding tube.

I understand she's got some brain damage, but from what I've seen, she's hardly in a vegetative state. And I think her husband has some weird issues affecting what he wants. That bothers me, too.

I want to see the feeding tube and the parents' requests honored in the Schiavo case.

[trine]

well, starving the poor girl to death is not nice regardless, but i'll have to go for spouse. i certainly wouldn't want my doctor to decide..

[Easy]

Interesting how many have weighed in on the Schiavo case when Michele simply used it as a springboard for her question.

My answer to Michele's question is that I do have a living will, and I have authorized my wife to make decisions like that for me. I also have copies of a durable power of attorney as well as living wills for both of my parents--my father is unmarried, and I only have any say so as far as my mother is concerned if her husband is also incapacitated.

My living will also names more than one person to make decisions for me in the event that my wife is incapacitated at the same time I am.

I note in passing that if I were in the same state as Terri Schiavo my wishes are very clear. I want the tube taken out.

[Bluegrass Mama]

My husband and I trust each other to make the decision. We have both had living wills for a number of years and are in agreement that neither of us would want to be kept alive in a condition similar to Terri Schiavo's.

I will also say that his beloved grandmother died a few years ago. She had cancer that made her unable to eat or drink. She chose not to have a feeding tube, and died peacefully at home among family several weeks later. She did have an IV, so dehydration was not an issue.

[tommy]

My answer to the living will is I don't care. I want my wife to do whatever helps her cope with it the best. Like I'm really going to care then. Keep me around or let me go, whatever works best for her.

[Robert]

Living will and proxy: have both.

[Scully]

In this instance, I believe the parents do. The husband moved on a long time ago, and recently filed for divorce. He's had a child with another woman. Frankly, I don't think he's taking the feeding tube out because he's being compassionate.

I have a clause in my will that addresses this. There will be no court action if this happens to me. My will states what I want.

[Dawn (webmiztris)]

I'd want my husband to decide, because he KNOWS how I feel about this case and my parents do not...

I wouldn't want to be kept alive. But I think starving her is cruel. There has to be a more humane way of doing it.

[Sol]

Watching this I'm almost thankful that I couldn't be in this position, my parents are gone. But if they were here, I'd want my husband to have the say. For one he's more likely to know. For two, I trust him to not make that decision lightly nor selfishly. And three, and most important... it is he that has to carry on somehow with his life. Not even death can take away that I am the mother of my children nor would it halt their life if I was gone. But my husband it feasibly could depending on how he handled it... and my husband I would want to go and find happiness again.
No, I don't have a living will yet. It is one of those things that we are preparing to try and work on, all of it, living wills, regular wills.. so as we get this in place, the living will is to be made as well.

[Jenn]

For me, definitely my husband. We've been together longer than I lived with my parents. Our lives are so interconnected that I know he would know what was best. If the doctors say to let me go, I pray he would.

[christine]

Ideally, I'd want my parents and my DH to come to an agreement. I think my DH would try to keep me around even if it wasn't the best decision all around.

I'm staying out of the debate, as I've not read enough about it to offer an opinion.

[Tammy]

Oh geez, don't get me going!

Michael Schiavo is a creep who could care less about Terri, from all the research I've done (and I've done alot). It's really rather convenient (for him) that he didn't remember how Terri didn't want to live "like that" until AFTER he won a bunch of money (which was supposed to be for Terri's CARE, which he's spent on HIMSELF and legal bills). To say nothing of the fact that this "good catholic" is living with another woman and has had two children with her.

As far as being kept alive by "heroic methods" (as the press often puts it), Terri is NOT on life support, she's being fed (or WAS being fed, until Michael had the tube removed). My very own Gramma, who I loved dearly, had a feeding tube, as she had throat cancer and could not swallow enough to keep her alive. Did we (her family) discuss "removing" that tube? NO!!!

And no, I don't currently have a living will. But I intend to get one right quick. And I think I'd rather let my mom decide what was going to happen to me....she wouldn't be interested in marrying someone else, or having children with someone else.

Links? I have tons. My own blog has a fair amount of Terri Schiavo info.

http://www.amomandherblog.com/ (scroll past my brother's wedding pics, it's my blog and I'll post what I want to, as I told hubby).

Also see:

http://www.blogsforterri.com/
http://crystal.typepad.com/
http://hyscience.typepad.com/hyscience/
http://1thess517.blogspot.com/
http://www.terrisfight.net/
http://www.prolifeblogs.com/

This is just a small number of blogs that are covering Terri. Go read. See what you think.

[sleepingmommy]

My husband and I have had an ongoing arguement over this because he does not want to talk about these kinds of things.

I finally have a will sitting here on my desk to be filled out but as usual he is putting it off.

I'd leave the decision in my husband's hands even though he has said that it is not something he would want to do (let me die), but he knows my wishes and I have to trust him to fulfill them.

[kenju]

My husband and I do have living wills. I believe that Mr. Schiavo has ulterior motives and if he cared about Terri, he would not have children with another woman.
Terri, as some have pointed out, is not unconscious and she is not on a respirator. Her feeding tube should not be removed, but the government should stay out of it.

[rory]

No will yet.

I'm not married but in the event that I do get married, I'd let him make the decision. My parents would want me to live, live, live. I've already told them that if ever I become a vegetable, just pull the plug. I don't want to be a burden to others, and I don't want to live that way.

[lani]

eeek. i just posted an entry where i said that i didn't have a living will or anything of that nature. i really do need one though. i think everyone should have one.

[melina]

both my daddy and mommy (and they are both deceased within the last three years, so i can call them by my childhood monikers if i want to) had either a living will or an advance directive, notarized. and boy, am i glad they did. i didn't have to guess at what they desired at their end of life time.

my dad explicity wrote down no artificial means of support. my mom, the same. and, yes, it was very difficult watching my dear dad suffer for a few days, horribly difficult, but i was following through on his wishes that he placed forth when he was 100% himself. thank you daddy! my mom had advanced emphysema for several years, and she was ready to go when she passed this past december 23. she was able to be put on a morphine drip and passed peacefully three days after admittance to the hospital.

not all children get to see their mother or father pass or be involved or responsible for what happens during and after. i've done good on both their behalfs.

i, myself, need to get an advanced health directive notarized very soon so if anything happens to me at 41 or 71, my kids and ex (since we aren't legally divorced yet, he'd be responsible and vice versa) know what i want. they've got pre-printed forms at office supply stores for those of us with little assets besides children. if you've got property and such, then a living will and an attorney might be necessary.

as for the schiavo mess. i do not think it is right our government to get involved in a family situation. i think if i were terri, i would never want to be kept "fed" with a tube. if i was tube fed and could still drive and walk around, well, that's the way it would be.

i think poor terri should be left to pass now. that's my viewpoint. i've seen what it can be like to have a loved on artificial means of support (my granny). it was horrible.

peace be with you, terri schiavo. and i'll see you on the other side.

i have a co-worker that's a notary public and

[Kisane]

I don't have a living will...but it's been said SO many times in my family - NO LIFE SUPPORT! I can't imagine spending the rest of my days in that state. Yet...at the same time, as a Catholic, I'm torn between preserving a life and ending it in this way.

[Tammy]

Just a quick reminder...Terri Schiavo is not on life support. She's being fed (or was).

[gigem]

The question at hand:
who has the final say? my partner-but my parents and family members are well aware of what I would want done
living will--advance directives? I filled out the paperwork at two local hospitals when I had surgeries there and it was notarized by their legal staff. Now does that transfer? I don't know.
My family has had this discussion several times over the years. It always begins when one of our pets is either sick or approaching seriously old age. We make the decision ahead of time (WAY ahead of time) that when their quality of life is no longer good, they're in serious, unpreventable pain, then to give them relief is the best thing to do.

[La Nina]

The only call that I can make on this is that the government should stay the hell out of it and not create blanket regulations based on what is obviously a very complicated and personal situation.